Sometimes actions speak louder than words, especially for children and animals. Try speaking to a “bird.” It is important to communicate in the benefit of safety and creating an advantage to those who do not want to hear what you have to say. Start with a little more love and JOY. Both open the gateway of communication that builds each of you up.

BEING HEARD

The dog and the cat were in romping about
As I came home from work late one day.
The sliding back door was left open a twit
So they could go freely out some and play.

Well, a bird had flown in and was up on the shelf.
Avoiding the noise that was brought to himself.
This was such a sight so I hastened to take
The dog and the cat out to give him a break.
The bird was so rattled and frantically stressed
I showed him the way out and gave him my best.

But the bird could not get my intent to proceed
And deliver his freedom by following my lead.
How could I speak gently to this dear little bird?
I might just have to be one, on order to be heard?

Relationships

Getting along with people is one of life’s most rewarding lessons. People bring out the best and the worst in you. They are an amazing training ground for developing those characteristics that refine the completeness of you. One of the best ways to truly stay on track with meaningful relationships is to stay on track with YOUR truth.

By this I mean, “let your yes be yes and your no mean no.” This truth is not my idea.  I learned if from Matthew 5:37, “Let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes or No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.” I can not tell you how many times I have said yes when I meant no and vice versa.  I did this because I did not want to hurt other people’s feelings.

The truth is, half of the time they could have cared less, they could have dealt with my truth far better than my coddling with untruth. On top of that I could have saved myself a lot of resentment and basic negativity that did not help after all. When you engage in 100% of YOUR truth, everyone benefits. Take that in!

To complement this approach, always take a deep breath and assure that you are speaking in kindness and love. Sometimes it is best to wait in response to a request.

DO it! You do not need to speak your truth until you are ready to respond with love and in kindness.  This is one of the best ways to assure that Creating YOUR Joy will happen.

Needless to say, this process will take courage if you are not accustomed to responding in this way.  The important thing is to recognize that you are about to speak your truth because you have taken the time to get in touch with your truth. Take another breath and choose those kind loving words of truth carefully. Wait if necessary. You can do it! You have the courage to do this, it just may be hiding out somewhere for the moment.

Keep in mind that God loves you and He blesses the truth that you stand for, in love and kindness. He is backing you up with courage, safety and His own love and kindness towards you. This practice will become a habit in no time at all and the confidence of truth will reign over your joy.

In the meantime, an important relationship skill that pays bountifully is to notice when you are with people and they do something that delights you. Encourage them for their smile, their attentiveness, their process of living and speaking their truth. Share in their joy. You will soon learn that the joy of another demonstrates that you can be joyful too. You will set the example of being a joy to be with, thus fulfilling the cycle of joy.

It is truly a very simple and basic process and only requires a few changes of habit.

The way to assure success with this habit is to go out with the intention of looking for ways to recognize people for how they contribute to your life. How they help you see things in a new way. How they delight in your delights. I can attest to so many times when I have put this practice into play in the business world, and gotten so much more cooperation, support and encouragement in return.

This works especially well when the person on the other side of the communication has done something, even they are sorry for. You become such a beacon of hope and delight for their contributions, even though, as a human being, they may have missed the mark.  Try it for yourself and see.

Remember, God is a God of numerous second chances. He loves you throughout your process. Share that grace and love with as many people as you can and see what happens?  You will see how it contributes to Creating YOUR Joy.

Years ago, I was in the biggest turmoil of my life.  Everything seemed to be going downhill, finances, health, job, career, relationships, you name it.  I was in an unfortunate place.  At that time someone told be to be grateful. Maintain an “attitude of gratitude.” was what the essential message was. At that point, I could only think,

“YOU have … GOT … to be kidding!”

At that juncture there appeared to be nothing to be grateful for. Then I decided, well, why not? Perhaps I could be grateful and appreciate the fact that I was still breathing, although not sure why. Slowly things really began to change.  I began to see more and more things to be grateful for and thus appreciate.

The biggest factor that entered into my lack of appreciation was that I was living in judgment, comparison and complaining. Those perspectives were simply not serving me. I began to trust that everything happened for a reason, that God was indeed, in charge and I began renewing my faith in the fact that God really only wants the best for me. His Word says in 1Thessalonians 5:18 “in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  Yes, it may seem like a struggle, but God has a plan to help you make the changes that create a better version of YOU.

To help substantiate this, you must know that your thoughts actually change your physiology.  Judgments, comparisons, complaining have an involutional effect on your body and propel your mind towards depression. They send your thinking into a contracted state. Conversely, appreciation, thanksgiving and praise expand your mental horizons.

They lend themselves towards peace and well being. These thoughts of a positive and hopeful nature are what demonstrate a trust in knowing that you are on the right track. Things may not look good from a worldly perspective, but your circumstances do not define your worthiness or whose you are, a Beloved Child of God.

Over time, I was amazed at how much appreciation not only improved my outlook, it impacted my “in-look”.  I began to feel amazingly uplifted.  It is almost as though my thoughts of appreciation brought me more things to appreciate. I was substantially uplifted, even though events of the past may have previously left me devastated.  I learned to give up the judgments and just let what is to just be, and that absolutely does not “define” me.

I can remember so specifically working my all night shift and being filled with the hormones of complete joy. I was amazed at how good I felt, even though there was absolutely nothing new in my experience that triggered a greater sense of well-being.

I asked myself, where did this come from? Then I realized that the appreciation mind-set really makes a difference. It is almost as though I could build my own bank of joy by reminding myself of how much “life is beautiful” and simply appreciate it.

These are some of the verses from Psalms that may be helpful in reminding you of how valuable thankfulness and appreciation really are. As has been said, “I have no idea what my future holds, but I know WHO holds my future.” And I can trust HIM.

Psalm 50:14 “Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and pay your vows to the Most High.”

Psalm 69:30 “I will praise the name of God with song and magnify Him with Thanksgiving.”

The following poem is derived from Jeremiah 10:6 and Exodus 15:2 and may be heard in a song entitled “None Like Thee” by going to lphamil.com.

NONE LIKE THEE, O LORD
Jeremiah 10:6, Exodus 15:2 Lisa Hamil 3-28-16

When I see what Thou hast done. There is truly only one…
Thou hast used Thy mighty power to create the earth.
Yet, has seen me through the test, and hath given me Thy best,
With Thy gift of loving hope and faithfulness…

None like Thee, O Lord…There is none like Thee, O Lord.
Thou art great and mighty is Thy name.
For there is none like Thee, O Lord.

Thou my strength, Thou art my song. I exalt Thee all day long.
For behold mine enemies shall be set aside.
Many wonders are portrayed, in the heavens Thou hast made.
Yet from Thy watchful eye they can never hide.

None like The, O Lord…There is none like Thee, O Lord.
Thou art great and mighty is Thy name.
For there is none like Thee, O Lord.

Thou my strength and Thou my song. I exalt Thee all day long.

Many wonders are portrayed in the heavens Thou hast made.
Thou hast used Thy mighty power to create the earth.
Yet hast seen me through the test, and hath given me Thy best,
With Thy gift of loving hope and faithfulness…

None like Thee, O Lord… There is none like Thee, O Lord.
Thou art great and mighty is Thy name.
For there is none like Thee, O Lord.
None like Thee, O Lord